FMA Fatale
by MustelineCurses
Summary: My first fic on this site. What happens when our favorite shripmy alchemist gets a mysterious surprise? Not what you'd expect, either...


Aight, 'sup my homies? I don't know if I updated this story right, it IS my first. So..Please tell me. ;; I'm so confused. Ok, so, yeah, here's the story. Hope you like it!

**Chapter 1, homies!**

As small rays of sunlight beamed in through the inn's window, a sleeping figure stirred. Muttering something about 'stupid retarded sunlight alarms', the alchemist continued to wriggle, though his brother was still sleeping soundly in a dark corner. He forced his face farther into his pillow.

"Nhhghhh…blanket…hgg, lump…" He rolled onto his back and glared into the window. His left arm flopped almost lifelessly over his eyes. "D'n wanna gerrup…" he said with a yawn. Again, he shifted uncomfortably; something felt odd. Did he sleep wrong? Did he roll himself into a blanket burrito along with a pillow?

Over in the far corner, the younger of the two stirred, greeted with the clanking of his permanent armor. "Awake already, big brother?" he asked. The other snorted in response and flopped face first back onto the pillow. "..Ed, you aren't going to go back to sleep, are you? It's…almost 7:30. You should get up." Edward Elric continued to ignore his brother and try to sleep. He found himself being poked by a cold, metal finger.

"Guh. Al, let me sleep…uh?" Ed coughed to clear his throat. His voice was odd. _Puberty, probably,_ he thought unenthusiastically. Alphonse shook his brother's shoulder and insisted he wake up. After much grunting in protest, the older Elric sat and glared at the younger one.

It took him a moment to realize his brother was staring at him strangely. "…What're you staring for, Al?" he asked after clearing his throat again. It didn't help much.

"Um…brother? You…you seem different…" Al sounded worried.

"How?"

"Uhh…I think you should look in a mirror…" Now Ed was worried. He kicked his feet out from under the covers, most of which were now on the floor, and slumped towards the bathroom. When his left leg tapped against the lineoleum, a faint clicking sound could be heard. After he rubbed the sleep from his eyes and tried to focus more, he searched the walls for the mirror. _It's over the sink…umm…oh, there—_

Again, it took him a minute to register what he was seeing. He blinked. He shut his eyes firmly and opened them again, facing the mirror. There was silence. Then…

"ALPHONSE ELRIC, WHAT DID YOU DO TO ME!"

**Chapter Two, Nerdpants**

****

"I didn't do anything, brother! Stop hitting me!" Al cried as his brother leapt at him like a ravenous wolf.

"OF _COURSE_ NOT! NOT THE BOY WHO CUT OFF ALL MY HAIR WHEN I WAS FIVE!" Ed shrieked while pummeling his brother.

"Ed, I was only three, I didn't know any better! Stop! Aahhh!" Finally, Alphonse managed to pluck his furious brother off of him by the back of his shirt. Ed still waved his arms violently, looking much like an angry windmill in his attempt to hit his brother.

"HOW WOULD I KNOW YOU DIDN'T DO THIS AS SOME KIND OF SICK JOKE!" The furious boy howled. Al replied by dropping Edward onto the bed and proceeded to sit on his right arm.

"Listen to me, brother. How could I do something like this to you? I would never even think of something like this, and beating me isn't going to make you normal again. …Are you crying?"

"NO! Get off my arm!"

"If you promise to calm down, I—"

"WOULD YOU BE CALM IF I TURNED _YOU_ INTO A GIRL!" Ed seemed to be throwing quite the tantrum. But, how would you react if you _suddenly woke up as the opposite gender_?

"Ed, you wouldn't be able—"

"I CAN STILL MAKE YOU LOOK LIKE A GIRL!" Edward's hands were threateningly close to each other, as he had writhed enough to partially escape being pinned down. Al yelped and snatched Ed's wrist, pulling it away from his other hand.

Alphonse continued to try to console his brother. "Edward, you're not going to get anywhere by doing that. It's not the end of the world, and we can find a way to turn you back to normal. Just calm down. I'll bring you breakfast…" At the mention of food, the tantrum instantly stopped and an almost angry growl could be heard.

Ed suddenly looked very pathetic. "But…Al…what if I need to…you know…" his eyes turned towards the bathroom's open door.

"Oh…um…I'm sure you'll…manage?" Ed wailed at his brother's attempt to console him. Instantly realizing he had said the wrong thing, Al stood and helped Edward out of the indent in the thoroughly beaten bed. "I'm sorry, brother!"

Ed covered his eyes with his hand and sniffled. "I'm not even a BROTHER, anymore, Al…" he said pathetically, dropping his head down so his palm was on his forehead and his chin touched his chest. Realizing what he was looking at, he yelped and snapped his head back so far he fell back onto his pillow. Al sighed wearily.

A long silence ensued.

Finally, Al decided to ask his brother a question. "Ed…what's it like?"

Alphonse received another thorough pummeling.

**Chapter 3, already?**

****

After receiving many pummelings, Alphonse managed to subdue Edward enough that he could actually talk to him without being punched. "Why don't we just go to the Military Base? I'm sure someone there would know how to turn you back to normal."

Ed snorted angrily. "Yeah, wouldn't Mister Flame Alchemist just LOVE to see this."

"You do want to go back to the way you were, don't you?"

"Yeah."

"Then-"

"NO."

Al sighed. Then a thought struck him. "Brother, someone must have done this to you, right?" After receiving a thorough glare, Alphonse continued. "Right. So, they still have to be nearby. I was asleep all night, and so were you, right?"

Ed nodded, though groggily.

"Then, how about we look around town to see if anything like this has happened to anyone else? You know, look for wanted posters and such?"

"But what if this was the first time someone's done this? I'm a TEST subject or something?" Ed said. …_lol I rymed lol_

"We should still look for clues. Pouting's not going to get us anywhere."

Finally, Ed agreed with something his brother offered him. "Yeah, I guess so."

Then Al said, "I can't be calling you brother now, though, and Edward's not a girls name, so…how about I call you Ellen instead?"

Ed glared angrily at his (her?) brother. "You're having way too much fun, Al, but fine. Sister it is. Ellen it is." Then he muttered to himself, _at least it's only temporary. Hopefully._ (from now on, I'll be referring to Ed as a she, but I'll still call HER Ed, because it's easier that way.)

The now fully proclaimed female Edward shifted her eyes towards the pile of clothes next to the bed. A thoroughly disgusted look crossed her face. Alphonse sighed once more. "You can get dressed with your eyes closed, can't you? You're a big girl now—" Ed punched Al so hard his head flew off. "Aah! My head! You're absolutely horrible, Ed!" Al cried as he stumbled after his helmet. Ed laughed briefly before picking up the clothes. She grumbled and walked into the bathroom, punting the head of her brother out of the room before closing and locking the door. She turned her back to the mirror and laid her clothes out in front of her before shutting her eyes and, thoroughly disgusted, pulled her shirt off.

Ed got dressed as fast as possible and still managed to end up with her shirt on the right way, though it hardly fit right. It had been a bit too short when Ed was his original gender; now about four inches of her stomach were exposed. She muttered to herself as she hastily braided her hair. When that was done, Ed looked at herself. _It's not that bad. I already had long hair, but my chest…_ She winced inwardly and tugged down on the hem of her shirt in a vague attempt to make it fit right. Eventually she became as satisfied as she thought she would get and walked out of the bathroom.

"What d'you think?" she asked her brother pathetically. Al glanced away from the window and looked at his new sister.

Though he was very tempted to say, 'you make a pretty girl, brother,' he didn't feel like searching for his head again, so he instead said, "It's not that bad, Ellen." Despite his self-restraint, he was punched again and forced to relocate his metal skull. As soon as he reattached his head, he said angrily, "You can't go and do that each time I say something. We agreed I'd call you 'Ellen' and 'sister', remember?" Ed simply scowled and continued to try to fix the shirt length. Eventually she decided she had no other choice but to MAKE the shirt longer. Ed knelt down beside the bed and ripped a portion of the sheet off. She didn't want to take her shirt off again, but she had little choice. Feeling somehow defeated, Ed walked back into the bathroom and pondered. _Can I do a transmutation with my eyes closed? Somehow I doubt it. It looks like I have no choice. _Ed grimaced and pulled the shirt over her head once more.

The mind of a male in the body of a female is a very dangerous thing, as Al had already found out multiple times. No matter how much she thought she didn't want to look at herself in this state, the teenage boy part of Ed knew that it was only a matter of time until he was forced to. Eventually, Ed's original mind won the internal argument, by stating, _there's no time like the present, right?_

As stated before, the mind of a boy in the body of a girl is a dangerous thing. This is especially true when there is a teenage boy's mind in a teenage girl's body. Slowly, almost painfully, Ed's eyes turned downwards. It was then when it was discovered that the bathroom door had not been locked, or well closed.

"Ed, what are you doing—"

There was a _LONG_ pause.

Slowly, Ed's eyes turned towards Alphonse who, if he was able, would have been blushing a deep purple. "Ahh—I'm sorry—I didn't know what—"

"ALPHONSE! YOU'RE HORRIBLE! STOP LOOKING AT ME! GO AWAY RIGHT NOW BEFORE I MAKE YOU EXPLODE!" Edward shrieked, clapping her arms over her chest. Though infuriated, she still blushed the color Alphonse wanted to. The terrified suit of living armor stumbled backwards and tripped, causing a tremendous crash to ring out.

In one swift movement, while Al was scrambling to get up, Ed clapped her hands together and slammed them onto the shirt and the strip of the sheet she tore off earlier. In a brilliant flash of light, the shirt and sheet were one, blended seamlessly together with alchemy. She swiftly rammed her arms through the sleeves of the shirt and pulled it over her head before she ran out of the room and cornered Al behind the bed.

Glaring furiously, Ed snarled, "Why didn't you KNOCK! OR SOMETHING!"

"Ed, I'm sorry! Please don't hurt me, brother! I-I didn't really see anything—"

"WHAT _DID _YOU SEE?"

"N-nothing! I swear! Please don't hurt me, Ed! …AAAHHH!"

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Well, that's the end of the first three chapters of this story. Please review. I hope I did this right.


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